When I was twelve, I had a very traumatic and life-scarring event happen on the night of New Year's Eve, and since then, I've really struggled around this time of year. For the past couple of years, I've handled things better, and so I had assumed this year would be even easier for me.
I was wrong. For some reason, things really hit me hard this past month, and I completely lost track of a lot of goals, not to mention losing control of my daily routine. I binge ate - A LOT - and lazed around in an aura of depression. I tried to stay upbeat, but I had to fake it and most days, it just didn't seem worth the effort.
Perhaps the reason it hit me so hard this year is because I thought it was going to be easier, so I didn't prepare myself for the hardships the way I usually do. That was a mistake. Another reason it might have been so hard is that we are struggling financially, and the stress of that on top of the normal stress was overwhelming.
However! December is OVER, the new year has started, and that horrid date is behind me. I have a whole 362 days until that anniversary comes around, and this time I'm going to prepare myself in every way possible, up to and including anti-depressants if needed.
Thanks to all who emailed or called during this time period - knowing you guys cared meant the world to me, and helped me more than I can say. Things are getting back on track!