Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Gryphon Lard-Butt gets a name change

May 5th started out like any normal Monday. Kids rushing around, me attempting to rein herd (and only being partially successful). Trouble laying his head on everyone's knees, hoping for a handout, and cats trying to pretend they aren't interested in the milk in the cereal bowls (and not fooling anyone). The worst is Gryphon Lard-Butt, who is a very large cat in his own right, but is also overweight. He tends to sneak any food he can get his grubby little paws on.

I was in the bedroom putting away laundry when I heard a loud crash from the kitchen. Gryphon Lard-Butt came racing out of the kitchen, eyes wide and fur sticking out in every direction, moving faster than I have seen in years.

Turns out our resident tubby kitty had hopped up on the table, hoping for a couple drops of milk, and instead, his weight had caused the table leg to collapse!

This was actually the second leg on this table to collapse. The leg behind it had broken a year ago, and was held in place with layers of duct tape. That damage, along with the second broken leg, was too much, and the table was irreparable.

This left us in a bit of a pickle, but not as much as we would have been in normally. Sean had just gotten paid a few days before, and he'd pulled an extra shift and a half during that pay period. So we did have a little extra money on hand. We had been planning on putting the extra money towards our back-due rent...but clearly we would have to use at least a part of it on a new table.

So we looked around, and almost right away we found a lovely table at the thrift store. Solid wood construction, dark stain, and it came with four matching chairs (which we really didn't need, but it was sold in a set).

 Best of all? The price. It was only $50.

Getting it into our tiny Kia was a bit of a hassle, but Sean got it done in his normal miraculous fashion. We had barely gotten it home and set up when Gryphon Lard-Butt decided to check it out.

"Hmm....I wonder how many drops of milk I would have to sneak in order to collapse this table?"
On the way home with the table, Sean had cracked a joke that we should change Gryphon's name to commemorate his momentous achievement.

So congratulations, Gryphon Lard-Butt - you are hearby dubbed Sir Gryphon the Table Slayer. If you kill my new table, I'm gonna force you to eat diet kibble until you get down to 12 pounds.

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